I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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