i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize