Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
