I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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