Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
