THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
