party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
