Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize