i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
