You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize