I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
