u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
