he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Mom said you looked used
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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