How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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