At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
