my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
