How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
