as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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