:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
