I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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