in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
