she woke up with a sticky ear
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
