Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
