im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize