shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
