DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
