I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
