Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I came so hard my ears popped.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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