Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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