Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
