we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
