i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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