There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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