just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
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