If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
