The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize