the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
