idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
