Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
