You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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