he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
