He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
