billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
