yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
