I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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