I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize