Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize