he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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