I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
