where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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