So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
