she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Randomize
