mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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