So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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