Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
