just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize