I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So vagazzling was a success
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
