If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
