ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Yo dont text me then not text me
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
