The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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