Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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