I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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