i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
