my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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