I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
