at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
